Our forray into Peru started auspiciously when before setting off our bus driver came round with a video camera and proceeded to film all the passengers on the bus ! Being her usual calm & reasoned self Charlotte took this as a sign that we were definitely going to get kidnapped on route to Cuzco....she then spread this panic around the bus so that by the time we set off everyone was either searching through their bags for a makeshift weapon or writing letters home to their families telling them they loved them. Funnily enough the kidnappping scenario failed to materialise and the next morning we rolled into Cuzco unmolested.
After the ramshackle shanties that passed for "towns" in Bolivia Cuzco was a refreshing change with clean cobbled streets and some lovely old buildings
We spent the next couple of days hanging out in Cuzco with Bene & Maurus and planning our trip to Machu Picchu. We also discovered an interesting brand of tuna !
Machu Picchu was something we had both been looking forward too so by the time we boarded the train to Aguas Calientes (the nearest town) we were really excited.
The train ride up took us through some incredible scenery and all the passengers seemed suitably impressed
Although we were a bit confused as to why the Peruvian woman with the gigantic arse got so excited at the sight of a cement mixer truck that she felt the need to take a load of photos of it ? Foreigners eh....
That night we went to bed early and set our alarm for 4:30 as we had been told by numerous people that sunrise at Machu Picchu was amazing and something that we had to see. Thus it was that we found ourselves queuing up at 5:00 am for one of the first buses up to the entrance gate, however upon making it through the gate we found that the "sunrise view" left us wanting a little more
Still undeterred we spent the next hour or so wandering around hoping that a.) the view would improve and b.) we wouldn't take a wrong step and plunge thousands of feet to our deaths !! Eventually we gave up and went to grab some breakfast but not before stopping to say hello to one of the local residents
After breakfast we went back in to find that HALLELUJAH ! the sun was out
It was then time to join our tour group and learn a little about the history of Machu Picchu and its residents. After this we decided to walk up to Inti Punki (at least that's what we think it was called ??). It was at this point we realised how unfit we've both become in the last 10 months....particularly when we were overtaken by a 9 year old and his 80 year old Grandfather, neither of whom seemed to be red faced, sweating or cursing each other. However it was worth the effort as the views of Machu Picchu and its sister mountain Wannu Picchu were brilliant
After walking back down the trail we headed off to see the "inca bridge" which both of us envisaged as being a huge rope bridge spanning a cavernous gorge, the reality was a little less impressive as it turned out to be 3 rotten planks of 2 by 4 that were about 6ft long. Our disappointment was short lived however when Matt spotted movement on the other side of the valley and we saw a family of extremely rare bears climbing the wall opposite us !!
We watched the bears for the next 30 mins or so, it was the perfect end to an amazing day.
By now it was time for us to leave as we wanted to walk back down the Inca Trail stairs to Aguas Calientes (thank God we didn't walk up them !!) in order to catch the train back to Cuzco.
From Cuzco we headed to a place on the coast called Pisco, we hadn't really done any research about the place and when we arrived for one awful moment we thought that maybe the Nuclear Apocalypse had taken place during the night, but thankfully this hadn't happened. The place was just a dump.
It was however very near to a nature reserve known as the Ballestos Islands (sometimes called "the poor mans Gallapagos") which was teeming with seabirds, penguins & sealions and only a 45 minute boat ride from the mainland.
Another thing we discovered about Pisco was that it is the venue for an annual Easter Parade and as we happened to be there on Good Friday we were treated to the sight of the whole town carrying giant effigies of Jesus and Mary round the main square whilst being followed by an extremely morose sounding band
All a bit wierd really and not an easter egg in sight (much to Charlottes disappointment).
The next stop on our whirlwind tour of Peru was Lima, the capital city, and seeing as we'd arrived on Saturday night we decided to sample the local nightlife......we didn't realise that this would involve us being driven 20 kms out of town and dropped off at what appeared to be an abandoned carpet warehouse playing god awful music until 6:00 am ! Still we had a giggle and showed these South Americans a thing or 2 about English dancing skills.
A couple of days later and we were preparing for our biggest adventure yet - 5 days living in the Amazon Jungle !! As we flew into Iquitos (the worlds largest city unreachable by road) we were slightly concerned to note that a lot of the villages along the Amazon seemed to be underwater. Our fears were not allayed when our guide Gerson Pizango informed us that, with our usual foresight & planning, we'd arrived during the wet season and not only that but it was the wettest wet season in living memory. Good work us !
The next morning, along with the rest of our group, we drove to the start point for our trip and loaded our bags and supplies on to the boat with Matt stopping to buy one last jungle "essential"
Upon arriving at our new jungle lodge home we were slightly perturbed to note that quite a lot of it was underwater, we needn't have worried though as Gerson & his family were used to this kind of thing and had taken the necessary steps to ensure our rooms weren't flooded.
We probably could have done without the scorpion reception committee though
That afternoon we got back in the boat and set off on our first excursion to see some friendly local monkeys
One of whom we named "Balls", for obvious reasons
This was all good fun until we tried to get the little buggers out of the boat
The next morning the real adventure began as we loaded our daypacks and some supplies into a little boat and sailed 5 hours up river into the "high jungle" where we would be sleeping on the jungle floor under nothing more than a tent liner and a tarpaulin.
That night we ventured into the jungle to try and find some nocturnal wildlife but due to the insistent rain they were all staying at home, so we hurried back to camp to play with the GIANT bugs that were EVERYWHERE
After an uncomfortable night of sleeping on the floor we were up early for a 5 hour jungle trek during which time we saw the Amazons most deadly snake (fortunately it was dead !) and drank water out of a vine just like Tarzan !
Our guide had also mentioned something about a monkey hunt (?) so we decided to employ some camouflage techniques
After an unsuccessful morning of monkey hunting (we guessed they'd been joking) we returned to camp for a spot of lunch before taking the boat up river to try and spot some more wildlife. As we floated serenely along the Amazon we were both a bit shocked when one of our guides Oli suddenly whipped out his shotgun and BAM! blew a freaking monkey out of a tree ! This amused the rest of the boys on our tour no end but Charlotte found it a bit distressing and even more so when 10 minutes later the monkey started wailing from its resting place under Gersons feet !
Still this was nothing compared to her shock when our new Swiss friend Ivo stepped in AND CUT THE MONKEYS HEAD OFF WITH AN AXE !!!! At this point the wailing continued, only this time it was Charlotte and not the monkey. So when Matt subsequently spotted that some of the monkeys blood had splashed onto Charlottes knee he thought it best to simply wipe it off rather than inform her.
Worse still was to come when upon returning to our camp the monkey was thrown into the fire to burn its fur off
Still we had come for the authentic Amazon experience and we were definitely getting it !
After another night of sleeping on the floor and listening to the Amazon nightlife in full voice we packed up camp and sailed back down to the lodge where after lunch we headed off for one of Matts favourite experiences of the whole year so far. Gerson got us back in the boat and took us to a local (flooded) village where the villagers had rescued a young sloth from the rising floodwaters
Matt can now confirm that Sloths are the coolest animals on the planet !
By now the sun was going down and Gerson had another once in a lifetime experience lined up for us - Swimming in the Amazon at sunset with dolphins.
That evening we were in for another taste of Amazon life as we were due to try Ayawaskha, an Amazon "medicine" which allows the taker to visit the spirit world and see visions of the gods.....in the West we call this acid. The Shaman from the local village assured us that he would guide us on our journey and that he would bring plenty of bowls, because one of the side effects of the "medicine" is that it makes you vomit... a lot! Joy!
The Shaman arrived at 9.30pm and the ceremony got under way. We passed the cup of sticky, brown, horrible medicine around the circle while the Shaman blew smoke on us, shook some dried leaves on a stick and chanted.Then he blew out the candles and we sat in total darkness and waited for something to happen.
What happened was that we sat listening to each other gag, vomit, and wretch. After 4 hours Matt had had enough. The medicine had absolutely no affect on him (or any of the other boys) and the highlight of his night was when one of our number, Joe, took an incredibly loud, long and gassy pooh which he had to do in the corner of the room in the toilet with no door! He eventually grabbed a puke covered Charlotte and told her they we going to bed. Charlotte reluctantly followed, leaving her vision of Madonna pole dancing in the middle of the room behind her!
The next morning was our last in the Amazon and as a special treat Gerson and Oli had lined up a couple of extra guests for breakfast.
A boa constrictor
And a spider that can KILL YOU
After a hastily consumed breakfast in the company of our deadly new friends we set out for our last Amazonian adventure, piranha fishing. Having been outdone by Charlotte in their previous attempt at this in Northern Thailand Matt was determined to catch one and under Gerson & Oli's expert guidance his patience was soon rewarded.
All that remained now was for us to take our catch back to the lodge and pack up our stuff, however Gerson had one last surprise lined up for us as for lunch they had prepared yesterdays "kill"
We're pretty certain this will be the first and last time that either of us eat from a plate with a hand on it !! For those of you who are interested monkey tastes a bit like smoky barbequed pork.
After this all that was left to do was to thank Gerson and his family for an incredible experience and some amazing memories that we will never forget before catching our boat ride back to civilisation.
Next up Central America and the start of our journey to Mexico, our final destination !
After the ramshackle shanties that passed for "towns" in Bolivia Cuzco was a refreshing change with clean cobbled streets and some lovely old buildings
We spent the next couple of days hanging out in Cuzco with Bene & Maurus and planning our trip to Machu Picchu. We also discovered an interesting brand of tuna !
Machu Picchu was something we had both been looking forward too so by the time we boarded the train to Aguas Calientes (the nearest town) we were really excited.
The train ride up took us through some incredible scenery and all the passengers seemed suitably impressed
Although we were a bit confused as to why the Peruvian woman with the gigantic arse got so excited at the sight of a cement mixer truck that she felt the need to take a load of photos of it ? Foreigners eh....
That night we went to bed early and set our alarm for 4:30 as we had been told by numerous people that sunrise at Machu Picchu was amazing and something that we had to see. Thus it was that we found ourselves queuing up at 5:00 am for one of the first buses up to the entrance gate, however upon making it through the gate we found that the "sunrise view" left us wanting a little more
Still undeterred we spent the next hour or so wandering around hoping that a.) the view would improve and b.) we wouldn't take a wrong step and plunge thousands of feet to our deaths !! Eventually we gave up and went to grab some breakfast but not before stopping to say hello to one of the local residents
After breakfast we went back in to find that HALLELUJAH ! the sun was out
It was then time to join our tour group and learn a little about the history of Machu Picchu and its residents. After this we decided to walk up to Inti Punki (at least that's what we think it was called ??). It was at this point we realised how unfit we've both become in the last 10 months....particularly when we were overtaken by a 9 year old and his 80 year old Grandfather, neither of whom seemed to be red faced, sweating or cursing each other. However it was worth the effort as the views of Machu Picchu and its sister mountain Wannu Picchu were brilliant
It also gave Matt the oppurtunity to indulge in his (and Charlottes) favourite pastime of photographing his Chelsea flag at every historical monument we visit
We watched the bears for the next 30 mins or so, it was the perfect end to an amazing day.
By now it was time for us to leave as we wanted to walk back down the Inca Trail stairs to Aguas Calientes (thank God we didn't walk up them !!) in order to catch the train back to Cuzco.
From Cuzco we headed to a place on the coast called Pisco, we hadn't really done any research about the place and when we arrived for one awful moment we thought that maybe the Nuclear Apocalypse had taken place during the night, but thankfully this hadn't happened. The place was just a dump.
It was however very near to a nature reserve known as the Ballestos Islands (sometimes called "the poor mans Gallapagos") which was teeming with seabirds, penguins & sealions and only a 45 minute boat ride from the mainland.
Another thing we discovered about Pisco was that it is the venue for an annual Easter Parade and as we happened to be there on Good Friday we were treated to the sight of the whole town carrying giant effigies of Jesus and Mary round the main square whilst being followed by an extremely morose sounding band
All a bit wierd really and not an easter egg in sight (much to Charlottes disappointment).
The next stop on our whirlwind tour of Peru was Lima, the capital city, and seeing as we'd arrived on Saturday night we decided to sample the local nightlife......we didn't realise that this would involve us being driven 20 kms out of town and dropped off at what appeared to be an abandoned carpet warehouse playing god awful music until 6:00 am ! Still we had a giggle and showed these South Americans a thing or 2 about English dancing skills.
A couple of days later and we were preparing for our biggest adventure yet - 5 days living in the Amazon Jungle !! As we flew into Iquitos (the worlds largest city unreachable by road) we were slightly concerned to note that a lot of the villages along the Amazon seemed to be underwater. Our fears were not allayed when our guide Gerson Pizango informed us that, with our usual foresight & planning, we'd arrived during the wet season and not only that but it was the wettest wet season in living memory. Good work us !
The next morning, along with the rest of our group, we drove to the start point for our trip and loaded our bags and supplies on to the boat with Matt stopping to buy one last jungle "essential"
Upon arriving at our new jungle lodge home we were slightly perturbed to note that quite a lot of it was underwater, we needn't have worried though as Gerson & his family were used to this kind of thing and had taken the necessary steps to ensure our rooms weren't flooded.
We probably could have done without the scorpion reception committee though
That afternoon we got back in the boat and set off on our first excursion to see some friendly local monkeys
One of whom we named "Balls", for obvious reasons
This was all good fun until we tried to get the little buggers out of the boat
The next morning the real adventure began as we loaded our daypacks and some supplies into a little boat and sailed 5 hours up river into the "high jungle" where we would be sleeping on the jungle floor under nothing more than a tent liner and a tarpaulin.
That night we ventured into the jungle to try and find some nocturnal wildlife but due to the insistent rain they were all staying at home, so we hurried back to camp to play with the GIANT bugs that were EVERYWHERE
After an uncomfortable night of sleeping on the floor we were up early for a 5 hour jungle trek during which time we saw the Amazons most deadly snake (fortunately it was dead !) and drank water out of a vine just like Tarzan !
Our guide had also mentioned something about a monkey hunt (?) so we decided to employ some camouflage techniques
After an unsuccessful morning of monkey hunting (we guessed they'd been joking) we returned to camp for a spot of lunch before taking the boat up river to try and spot some more wildlife. As we floated serenely along the Amazon we were both a bit shocked when one of our guides Oli suddenly whipped out his shotgun and BAM! blew a freaking monkey out of a tree ! This amused the rest of the boys on our tour no end but Charlotte found it a bit distressing and even more so when 10 minutes later the monkey started wailing from its resting place under Gersons feet !
Still this was nothing compared to her shock when our new Swiss friend Ivo stepped in AND CUT THE MONKEYS HEAD OFF WITH AN AXE !!!! At this point the wailing continued, only this time it was Charlotte and not the monkey. So when Matt subsequently spotted that some of the monkeys blood had splashed onto Charlottes knee he thought it best to simply wipe it off rather than inform her.
Worse still was to come when upon returning to our camp the monkey was thrown into the fire to burn its fur off
Still we had come for the authentic Amazon experience and we were definitely getting it !
After another night of sleeping on the floor and listening to the Amazon nightlife in full voice we packed up camp and sailed back down to the lodge where after lunch we headed off for one of Matts favourite experiences of the whole year so far. Gerson got us back in the boat and took us to a local (flooded) village where the villagers had rescued a young sloth from the rising floodwaters
Matt can now confirm that Sloths are the coolest animals on the planet !
By now the sun was going down and Gerson had another once in a lifetime experience lined up for us - Swimming in the Amazon at sunset with dolphins.
That evening we were in for another taste of Amazon life as we were due to try Ayawaskha, an Amazon "medicine" which allows the taker to visit the spirit world and see visions of the gods.....in the West we call this acid. The Shaman from the local village assured us that he would guide us on our journey and that he would bring plenty of bowls, because one of the side effects of the "medicine" is that it makes you vomit... a lot! Joy!
The Shaman arrived at 9.30pm and the ceremony got under way. We passed the cup of sticky, brown, horrible medicine around the circle while the Shaman blew smoke on us, shook some dried leaves on a stick and chanted.Then he blew out the candles and we sat in total darkness and waited for something to happen.
What happened was that we sat listening to each other gag, vomit, and wretch. After 4 hours Matt had had enough. The medicine had absolutely no affect on him (or any of the other boys) and the highlight of his night was when one of our number, Joe, took an incredibly loud, long and gassy pooh which he had to do in the corner of the room in the toilet with no door! He eventually grabbed a puke covered Charlotte and told her they we going to bed. Charlotte reluctantly followed, leaving her vision of Madonna pole dancing in the middle of the room behind her!
The next morning was our last in the Amazon and as a special treat Gerson and Oli had lined up a couple of extra guests for breakfast.
A boa constrictor
And a spider that can KILL YOU
After a hastily consumed breakfast in the company of our deadly new friends we set out for our last Amazonian adventure, piranha fishing. Having been outdone by Charlotte in their previous attempt at this in Northern Thailand Matt was determined to catch one and under Gerson & Oli's expert guidance his patience was soon rewarded.
All that remained now was for us to take our catch back to the lodge and pack up our stuff, however Gerson had one last surprise lined up for us as for lunch they had prepared yesterdays "kill"
We're pretty certain this will be the first and last time that either of us eat from a plate with a hand on it !! For those of you who are interested monkey tastes a bit like smoky barbequed pork.
After this all that was left to do was to thank Gerson and his family for an incredible experience and some amazing memories that we will never forget before catching our boat ride back to civilisation.
Next up Central America and the start of our journey to Mexico, our final destination !
Sweet baby Jesus, you guys ate the F*CKING MONKEY???!!! All hail....
ReplyDeleteYeah well "when in Rome..." and all that. Probably not something we'll make a habit of though.
ReplyDeleteMonkey eating aside, it's shit back here at the minute. The pair of you should get a job in Thailand or something. Seriously....
ReplyDelete