Having said goodbye to all our new friends in Pai and getting the WORST passport photos ever taken for our Laos visas (see previous blog entry for proof !) we jumped on the overnight minibus to take us to the Thai / Laos border. After approximately 3 hours sleep we were woken up and herded on to a small river taxi to make the short trip across the Mekong between the two countries, where after passing through immigration and suffering the indignation of having to hand over the aforementioned photos we found ourselves in Laos, a country so laid-back it makes Rhyll look like New York.
The next 2 days were spent on a slow boat travelling down the Mekong river towards Luang Prabang. This started off as a fun experience but soon deteriorated into the equivalent of a never-ending coach journey on the M4 but with better scenery.
At one point Charlotte was tempted to jump overboard and start swimming as she was adamant that this would be a faster method of getting to our destination.
Along the way we stopped off at Pak Beng where we had our first experiences of Laotian food and the craziness that seems to infect all the locals in the form of a group of 40+ women walking up the street whooping & giggling like they had all been at the mushroom shakes !
After 2 butt-aching days we disembarked from the slow boat in Luang Prabang which turned out to be a kind of middle-aged French peoples holiday resort, complete with bistros & creperies, surrounded by buddhist temples.
Which was all very nice but once we'd been there a day we'd seen most of it so we jumped in a minivan which was only slightly more crowded than the slowboat and set off for Vang Vieng which has achieved legendary status on the traveler trail as the home of "tubing" but more about that later....
Vang Vieng was surrounded by beautiful scenery and we managed to get ourselves a hut right on the river
Even if we did have to cross the worlds most rickety bridge to reach it !
With this done we hired a moped and set off to see some of the local scenery which included the biggest waterfall we've seen to date
Before heading back into town to watch an amazing sunset and laugh at all the people flailing drunkenly down the river in the darkness at the end of their tubing experience safe in the knowledge that as we were both older & wiser than the majority of travelers in town that definitely would not be us
That evening we met another couple from England and arranged to go "tubing" with them the following day. For those who don't know tubing involves hiring a large inner tube in town and then being driven 4 kilometers up stream where you plop yourself in the river and float back into town stopping off at the various riverside bars along the way - which should take about 3 hours. Sounds like a recipe for disaster (and in Matts brothers case actually was....but that's another story), but as previously stated we are a bit older and therefore a bit more responsible so we knew we'd be ok.
Therefore the next morning we found ourselves crossing yet another rickety bridge on our way to the first bar at the start of the tubing run
Things got off to an ominous start when as we crossed the threshold of the bar we had our heads held back with our mouths open whilst staff members poured a large quantity of Laotian whisky down our throats......mmmm whisky breakfast. As soon as we'd got over the shock of this we sat down with our new friends Luke & Rachel and had a few warm up beers
Once we'd got the first 4 or 5 beers inside us to settle our stomachs after our whisky treat we thought 2 hours was probably long enough for the first bar so only stumbling slightly we jumped in the river, Charlotte banging her ass on the riverbed as she did so (grace & poise baby, grace & poise) and began "tubing".....
...unfortunately within 25 meters we "somehow" found ourselves being towed into the next bar (which you can see in the video HERE) where we were yet again forced to drink a large shot of Laotian whisky meaning that we "had" to buy a bucket of rum & pineapple to get rid of the taste and as it was 2 for 1 it meant that we accidentally ended up with a bucket each ! This was a good thing however as it gave both of us the courage to jump off the high dive board
(little tip for you all from Matt - don't do this whilst suffering with piles as it's bloody painful when you land !)
Upon checking our watches we realised that yet another 2 hours had passed and we were still only 25 meters from our start point. Shit ! So it was back in the tubes again, this time swaying considerably as we did so, and off down the river we went determined to make it past the next bar....which we duly did, Yay us ! Alas the next bar was too much of a temptation so we found oursleves being lassoed and dragged into shore again with Matt managing to lose his sunglasses in the process by falling off the ladder while attempting to get out of the river (it's alright though because he "found" another pair on the floor almost immediately)
By this time we were acting like the kind of people you want to have out there in the world representing the UK
It was now 17:40 meaning that we had 20 minutes to return our innertubes or risk losing our deposit (a whopping $4 !) so it was back in the tubes. By this point we were using the "fall in the river and hang on for dear life" method.
We soon realised that this was a bad idea as the sun rapidly disappeared and we found ourselves completely drunk, floating in near darkness in freezing cold water on a river which seemed to have suddenly sped up and developed lots of whirlpools and rocks for us to crash into ! After an hour of flailing drunkenly in the darkness and shrieking at each other (well mostly it was Charlotte doing the shrieking) we decided to give up and pull in at the next bar/hotel where we could get a rickshaw to take us back into town. Tubing had beaten us. Thank god we're "older & wiser" eh.
The next morning we decided that we'd have another crack at tubing but this time we'd go early and ensure that we didn't stop at all the bars so we could finish it ! This started badly when we suddenly realised that we'd been in the first bar for 2 hours again.....but then Matt put his foot down and insisted that we get going.
From this point it was pretty much plain sailing, except for when the staff at the bar where we stopped for lunch decided to put on an impromptu cock-fight for us
Those of you who know Charlotte well may be surprised to learn that instead of being horrified by this she stood up and started shouting "COCK-FIGHT ! COCK-FIGHT !"......or on second thoughts maybe you won't be. This minor incident aside it was a much more sedate day and we had a great time floating down the river together AND more importantly got our tubes back in time to reclaim our deposits.
Next up on our list of activities was something that we had been watching take place for the last few days - hot air ballooning, something which neither of us had tried. Our first attempt was a failure when the safety crew (yes they had a saftey crew. Amazing !) said it was too windy, therefore the next mornng just before sunrise we found ourselves standing next to a rapidly inflating giant balloon which we would be entrusting our lives too
We were both a bit nervous at take off which I think you can see here with Matts worried look and Charlottes maniacal laughter
But soon we were enjoying floating above the Laotian countryside....this was until the point of landing when the pilot (we assumed he was the pilot because he had a jumpsuit saying so) seemed to have no idea what to do and instead of landing at our designated site crash landed in a local farmers field !
Which seemed to amuse the locals no end....
.....the farmer not so much though. However we survived unscathed and can now say that we have been in an "air crash".
The following day we bid farewell to yet another set of friends and hopped on a bus to Vientiane, the capital city of Laos. Vientiane is not your typical capital city, for starters you'd have no idea that you'd left the "countryside" and entered an "urban" area until someone pointed it out to you and then when we reached the city centre we found that it was basically 4 streets that intersected. In fact the only things we can really report are that it has a bowling alley (where Charlotte whipped Matt - Check out her strike !)
A mini Arc de Triomph built out of concrete donated by the Americans for a runway and described by the Laotian heritage sign as
And you can watch some beautiful sunsets over the Mekong (ok we know we're obsessed with sunsets)
So after spending a fun filled 10 days in Laos we were ready to head back into Thailand to rendezvous with Sean, Jukkis & Susy for sexy-party-time Bangkok style on Matt's birthday......
The next 2 days were spent on a slow boat travelling down the Mekong river towards Luang Prabang. This started off as a fun experience but soon deteriorated into the equivalent of a never-ending coach journey on the M4 but with better scenery.
At one point Charlotte was tempted to jump overboard and start swimming as she was adamant that this would be a faster method of getting to our destination.
Along the way we stopped off at Pak Beng where we had our first experiences of Laotian food and the craziness that seems to infect all the locals in the form of a group of 40+ women walking up the street whooping & giggling like they had all been at the mushroom shakes !
After 2 butt-aching days we disembarked from the slow boat in Luang Prabang which turned out to be a kind of middle-aged French peoples holiday resort, complete with bistros & creperies, surrounded by buddhist temples.
Which was all very nice but once we'd been there a day we'd seen most of it so we jumped in a minivan which was only slightly more crowded than the slowboat and set off for Vang Vieng which has achieved legendary status on the traveler trail as the home of "tubing" but more about that later....
Vang Vieng was surrounded by beautiful scenery and we managed to get ourselves a hut right on the river
Even if we did have to cross the worlds most rickety bridge to reach it !
With this done we hired a moped and set off to see some of the local scenery which included the biggest waterfall we've seen to date
Before heading back into town to watch an amazing sunset and laugh at all the people flailing drunkenly down the river in the darkness at the end of their tubing experience safe in the knowledge that as we were both older & wiser than the majority of travelers in town that definitely would not be us
Therefore the next morning we found ourselves crossing yet another rickety bridge on our way to the first bar at the start of the tubing run
Things got off to an ominous start when as we crossed the threshold of the bar we had our heads held back with our mouths open whilst staff members poured a large quantity of Laotian whisky down our throats......mmmm whisky breakfast. As soon as we'd got over the shock of this we sat down with our new friends Luke & Rachel and had a few warm up beers
Once we'd got the first 4 or 5 beers inside us to settle our stomachs after our whisky treat we thought 2 hours was probably long enough for the first bar so only stumbling slightly we jumped in the river, Charlotte banging her ass on the riverbed as she did so (grace & poise baby, grace & poise) and began "tubing".....
...unfortunately within 25 meters we "somehow" found ourselves being towed into the next bar (which you can see in the video HERE) where we were yet again forced to drink a large shot of Laotian whisky meaning that we "had" to buy a bucket of rum & pineapple to get rid of the taste and as it was 2 for 1 it meant that we accidentally ended up with a bucket each ! This was a good thing however as it gave both of us the courage to jump off the high dive board
With Matt insisting that he do it with his Chelsea flag
Upon checking our watches we realised that yet another 2 hours had passed and we were still only 25 meters from our start point. Shit ! So it was back in the tubes again, this time swaying considerably as we did so, and off down the river we went determined to make it past the next bar....which we duly did, Yay us ! Alas the next bar was too much of a temptation so we found oursleves being lassoed and dragged into shore again with Matt managing to lose his sunglasses in the process by falling off the ladder while attempting to get out of the river (it's alright though because he "found" another pair on the floor almost immediately)
By this time we were acting like the kind of people you want to have out there in the world representing the UK
But at least they didn't make us drink anymore of that lovely whisky.
Charlotte & Rachel then decided to entertain Luke & Matt, and therefore the whole bar, by putting on a dance show....not that kind of show ! It was in fact a perfect demonstration of "drunken English chicks dancing to Michael Jackson" and was highly appreciated, if not fully understood, by all present.....but you don't have to take our word for it, check out the youtube video HERE
It was now 17:40 meaning that we had 20 minutes to return our innertubes or risk losing our deposit (a whopping $4 !) so it was back in the tubes. By this point we were using the "fall in the river and hang on for dear life" method.
We soon realised that this was a bad idea as the sun rapidly disappeared and we found ourselves completely drunk, floating in near darkness in freezing cold water on a river which seemed to have suddenly sped up and developed lots of whirlpools and rocks for us to crash into ! After an hour of flailing drunkenly in the darkness and shrieking at each other (well mostly it was Charlotte doing the shrieking) we decided to give up and pull in at the next bar/hotel where we could get a rickshaw to take us back into town. Tubing had beaten us. Thank god we're "older & wiser" eh.
The next morning we decided that we'd have another crack at tubing but this time we'd go early and ensure that we didn't stop at all the bars so we could finish it ! This started badly when we suddenly realised that we'd been in the first bar for 2 hours again.....but then Matt put his foot down and insisted that we get going.
From this point it was pretty much plain sailing, except for when the staff at the bar where we stopped for lunch decided to put on an impromptu cock-fight for us
Those of you who know Charlotte well may be surprised to learn that instead of being horrified by this she stood up and started shouting "COCK-FIGHT ! COCK-FIGHT !"......or on second thoughts maybe you won't be. This minor incident aside it was a much more sedate day and we had a great time floating down the river together AND more importantly got our tubes back in time to reclaim our deposits.
Next up on our list of activities was something that we had been watching take place for the last few days - hot air ballooning, something which neither of us had tried. Our first attempt was a failure when the safety crew (yes they had a saftey crew. Amazing !) said it was too windy, therefore the next mornng just before sunrise we found ourselves standing next to a rapidly inflating giant balloon which we would be entrusting our lives too
We were both a bit nervous at take off which I think you can see here with Matts worried look and Charlottes maniacal laughter
But soon we were enjoying floating above the Laotian countryside....this was until the point of landing when the pilot (we assumed he was the pilot because he had a jumpsuit saying so) seemed to have no idea what to do and instead of landing at our designated site crash landed in a local farmers field !
Which seemed to amuse the locals no end....
.....the farmer not so much though. However we survived unscathed and can now say that we have been in an "air crash".
The following day we bid farewell to yet another set of friends and hopped on a bus to Vientiane, the capital city of Laos. Vientiane is not your typical capital city, for starters you'd have no idea that you'd left the "countryside" and entered an "urban" area until someone pointed it out to you and then when we reached the city centre we found that it was basically 4 streets that intersected. In fact the only things we can really report are that it has a bowling alley (where Charlotte whipped Matt - Check out her strike !)
A mini Arc de Triomph built out of concrete donated by the Americans for a runway and described by the Laotian heritage sign as
And you can watch some beautiful sunsets over the Mekong (ok we know we're obsessed with sunsets)
So after spending a fun filled 10 days in Laos we were ready to head back into Thailand to rendezvous with Sean, Jukkis & Susy for sexy-party-time Bangkok style on Matt's birthday......
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